After many years relegated to the role of kid, I decided that I finally must be taken seriously among the Lowder clan.
In the past, a rite of passage would be a suitable indication of enlightenment. These rituals range from reciting religious texts to donning gloves filled with bullet ants. However, there is no equivalent for the young American. Sure, there are some poor imitations: graduating high school, buying your first car, first home, etc.
However, I’d argue these are more milestone than rite. Instead, I’d like to present what I believe should be the American equivalent of ant infested gloves. Every American kid should be required to make breakfast for a dozen of their extended family.
In this way, I will recount the story of how I became a man.
The Challenge
Recently, I was invited to a family reunion style gathering at my second cousin’s cabin. Throughout the multiple days of festivities, certain responsibilities would be doled out. Among these, each family member would be responsible for the preparation of a specific meal. I, along with my brother, were assigned the first breakfast of the gathering.
More daunting still, there would be at least 15 to 20 people attending that breakfast depending on availability.
The Plan
I knew there were a few easy staples that would satisfy that many hungry mouths. I would provide eggs, bacon and fruit. Cracking, whisking, and slowly cooking thirty eggs is tedious but doable. Supplementing volume with about a cup or two of milk should provide inviting fluffiness at the expense of a slight decrease in flavor. Additionally, baking a few pounds of bacon will complement the eggs and alleviate any meat lovers. Because bacon can be baked, it’s also low complexity and fairly stress-free. Finally, fruit is easy to buy in bulk and prepare day of. In combination, these three produce a fairly standard breakfast.
However, I don’t believe this is adequate. The above meal lacks pizazz. If you just care about providing the minimum, something like the above will sustain you. However if the goal is to hailed a proper “debutante” among your elders, then an additional option must be delivered.
In a moment of impulse, I devised the perfect solution to my problem. I would make danishes!
Danishes
Though most recipes online are fairly similar, I decided to utilize this one I found by Michelle Lettrich as the basis for my first attempt.
There were a few reasons I felt the Danish would be a good choice. First, they are very sweet which is an instant attractor to the average American. Second, they can be made in bulk. Finally, I had recently made blackberry jam which would make an excellent filler.
Pastry Dough
I am in no way an expert in making pastry dough. However, following the aforementioned recipe, I found making the dough fairly easy. I combined the flower, milk, eggs, etc into a mixing bowl. Though the recipe calls for a sticky dough, I ended up adding too much extra flour in an attempt to prevent the excess sticking I was experiencing. I also lacked a stand-mixer, so I ended up relying on a combination of hand-mixer and spatula. This may have contributed to my sticky dough issues.
When rolling out the dough, I found that only the counter had enough space for the full sheet. Tri-folding the butter into the dough, I was able to laminate butter into the dough. Transferring the dough to the fridge, and then waiting twenty minutes, I repeated this folding process several times until the dough properly formed many dozens of layers. Every layer of laminated pastry felt like another trial in my initiation.
Double plastic wrapped and kept inside a zip-lock bag, pastry dough can be frozen for a few months.
Assembly
Again, following the recipe, I thawed and then trisected the dough. I then further divided each third into twelve equal sized portions. Rolling them into balls, I then had 36 equal-sized puff pastry balls.
Flattening into disks, I laid out each onto parchment paper and covered with plastic wrap to proof.
Filling
I filled half the danishes with cream cheese, and the other with a layer of custard and topped with a dollop of blackberry jam.
Above, we can see the final result. Kept in a chilled cooler, they kept quite well in transport to the re-union. Warmed, topped with an icing, they flew off the plate faster than I could ever have hoped!
Conclusion
All in all, I believe this breakfast to have been a success! First, the entire family was adequately fed for a day of activities and conversation.
Second, and perhaps more personally, I had conquered the gauntlet. Whereas before I may have been considered a boy in the body of a twenty-something, I had raised expectations and opinions. I had worn the gloves, endured the stings of flour, butter, and family expectation. I emerged not just full, but finally seen.
Bonus
But what, like me, you have extra filling? What if you need to smack away any doubt of your culinary ability? In that case, you should consider bringing a Kringle as well!