Hey! I can’t see where I’m going!
I’m sorry
It’s so dark. Why is it so dark?
We’re in a tunnel, child
Why are we in a tunnel?
You don’t remember?
I remember Mom taking me to the store. She was putting the food in the car, I saw this cute dog on the other side of the road. But…
Yes
Oh, there’s a light!
Yes, there’s a light
But it’s so far away! Why is it soooooo far away?
You entered the tunnel very early. You’re still quite young
I just had my birthday! Do you wanna know what Mom got me?
What did your Mother get you?
This SUPER fluffy doggie pillow. It was super cute! But… I told Mom that I hated it.
Why did you tell her that?
I wanted a dog. But, Mom said that we weren’t ready for a dog.
You don’t always get want you want for your birthday
That’s what Mom said, but I just wanted the dog. I got mad.
How mad?
I threw the pillow away and I started screaming.
That is quite mad
Mom said that it was bad that I was mad. She said I was embarrassing her in front of everyone.
Everyone at your birthday party?
Yes… I told her that I hated her. I told her she was a very bad Mom. Do you think Mom thinks I hate her?
I’m sure that Mom knows you love her
I know… wait, why is the light so far away? We’ve been walking FOREVER! But the light is still so far away!
If you were older, we’d start further in the tunnel, child
I guess… is Mom here?
Your Mother isn’t in the tunnel yet
Will I see her soon?
Your Mother will join you in time
I miss her
She misses you too
What’s taking her so long? Is she still packing the groceries?
She’s at the hospital with your brother
Oh no! Is he ok?
He’s ok. He misses you though
Oh, that’s good. Is my Mom ok?
Your Mother misses you too
Look! The light is a bit bigger now! I can see my hands again!
Yes, we’ve moved further forward
I can see the walls of the tunnel. They’re so sharp and rough. I can see math textbooks? Acne cream? Why are they in the wall?
We’re passing through puberty
Puberty?
Something you missed, but the tunnel wishes you to see
Oh, I don’t understand.
It’s fine to not understand. No one expects you to
Where are we now? The tunnel keeps changing!
We’re passing through the years
It feels like the light is getting closer, but we aren’t moving faster.
Time feels that way as you get older
I’m getting older?
Yes. Look over here, we’re nearly at your midlife
It’s so fast. Why do I need to get older?
You didn’t live a full life, so you are not ready yet for what is next
I didn’t? But I had Mom, my brother, the doggie pillow.
Yes
I had friends at school. I had so much.
Yes
I don’t want to go any further.
You must
No
…
Why don’t you say anything?
There’s nothing to be said
I’m scared. I don’t want to die.
Most feel the same
What can I do?
There’s only one way forward my child
Can’t I go back into the tunnel? Can’t I stay here forever?
Why would you want to stay in this dark tunnel
I don’t know, I know the tunnel. I know where I was. Whatever’s in that light could be scary.
I promise it is not
Promise?
Take my hand, I’ll hold it as long as I can
Your hand… it feels so cold.
Yes
Who are you exactly?
I’m the guide. I keep you on the path for the tunnel is dark and you might trip.
You are very strange.
Yes
I can see so much in the wall of the tunnel. I can see photos of a woman. She has a baby and a husband. She looks like Mom.
She looks like you
Is this what could have been?
Yes, if you were alive, this is who you would be
She looks very happy.
Yes
It feels like I should be sad, but I don’t feel anything.
We started very young. What the tunnel has to show isn’t as appealing
If I started in my 40s, would I care more about this woman and her husband and their baby?
You’d be that woman
But that woman never existed. She never will exist.
Yes
Hey! The light is so bright now. We’re so close!
Yes, I will need to leave you soon
Can’t you join me?
It is not permitted
No exceptions?
No exceptions
Can I ask you a question before I go?
Of course
In the wall, I forgot to look, would I have gotten a dog?
Yes
What was the dog’s name?
Her name was princes
Princess?
Your brother hated that name.
Well, it’s my dog!
I cannot go any further. Here is where I must leave you
Thank you.
Thank you, child. These longer walks are the most pleasant
Goodbye. Please say hi to Mom for me. And let her know that I will be waiting!
I will tell her. I promise